I looked into and busted a few rape myths.

Rape myths abound across the world, and range from the dangerous to the frivolous. I explore a few such myths in the heteronormative sphere.

1. Rape is…

“… sometimes right and sometimes wrong”— Babulal Gaur, BJP leader

“… when there are three-four people or if a man pulls out a knife. But in a relationship between a single girl and boy, such things cannot happen if the girl doesn’t want them to… If the guy can lovingly convince the girl, why not?” —Abbas Mirza, one of my subjects

A few months into my research, my spouse and I were reading our respective books against an ancient wall of the Hatgadh Fort, somewhere in rural Maharashtra. So engrossed was I in my compulsive note-making that I didn’t notice the gaggle of five college-age boys until their shadows loomed above me, peering at my studying.

 “Whatchu doing, bahina?” they asked in Marathi, with the typical curiosity and reverence village folks have for city ones. “Writing a book about what?” Sensing an opportunity to educate and be educated, I invited them to stay for a chat.

 “Problem kya hai ki kissi ko pata hi nahi rape kya hai.” How true! They’d all heard of it on the news, but didn’t know what it really meant. I realised that, as women transition from being possessions to people, there is no understanding of consent and rape, neither legally nor socioreligiously—how can we, when we still have forced-arranged and child marriages? The law is evolving—not so long ago, the lust of the man and the chastity of the woman were used as yardsticks to determine rape. Even currently, there are so many instances of mixed legal signals contributing to this muddle—until recently, a woman who had lived with a man for years on end was allowed to claim rape if he didn’t marry her; the media projected that the Dastangoi performer, Mahmood Farooqui, was acquitted on the basis of the complainant’s ‘feeble no’; child marriage is illegal but recognised, yet sex with a child wife is rape; until recently, Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) criminalised anything but penovaginal intercourse even in consenting heterosexual adults….

Throughout the land, from the law to the media to the people, sexual autonomy should be situated in each individual’s human rights; and sexual violence, viewed as a violation of these human rights.

2. The Victim is to Blame for Rape

“The victim is as guilty as her rapists. She should have called the culprits brothers and begged before them to stop.”—Asaram Bapu, ‘spiritual’ leader and alleged rapist

“The rate of crimes against women depends on how completely dressed they are and how regularly they visit temples.”— Babulal Gaur, BJP leader

‘Was she drunk?’ ‘Why did she go with that boy?’ ‘What was she doing there?’ ‘You need two hands to clap.’ ‘She should have been more careful with her and her family’s ‘honour’.’ Variations of these statements and questions, that constitute victim blaming and shaming, can be found across the globe.

It’s time to stop this universal phenomenon, take the onus away from the victims and survivors, and place it squarely where it belongs… with the perpetrators and causes of gender violence. If there were no rapists there’d be no rape.

3. Rape is a Big Crime (against the Woman/Victim)

Rape is a big crime, when seen from a human rights’ point of view—it is the violation of the human rights of the victim.

From the patriarchal point of view, rape is seen as a big crime too, but for an entirely different reason. In the patriarchal reckoning, rape is a crime against the woman’s and her family’s ‘honour’. It is a crime against the ‘owner’ of the woman—with her ‘honour’ sullied, her ‘virginity’ robbed, the goods are spoilt. It is a familial and societal shame.

That ‘honour’ is seen as inseparable from the chastity of women holds true even when she exercises sexual agency. Sex before marriage, for love or lust, is considered a grave crime committed by the boy against the girl and her family. The violation of her human rights—to consent or not, to have sexual autonomy—are considered last, if at all, in the ranking of crimes.

While agents of patriarchy consider rape as a big crime (against the woman/victim), they simultaneously believe…

4. Rape is A Small Crime (by the Man/Perpetrator)

In the ranking of criminals, the opposite of the argument made in point 3, above, seems to apply.

“Such incidents [rapes] do not happen deliberately. These kind of incidents happen accidentally.”—Ramsevak Paikra, senior BJP leader

“Boys are boys, they make mistakes.”— Mulayam Singh Yadav, SP supremo

Agents of patriarchy present rape a minor crime, a momentary lapse of judgement by (good, young) boys (who will, of course, always be boys).

***

These are only a few myths about the idea and causes of rape. Myths about the causes of rape lead and add to myths about the solutions for rape. From the dangerous:

“Rapes happen because men and women interact freely.” —Mamata Banerjee, Trinamool Congress leader and West Bengal CM

“Child marriage is a solution to rape and other atrocities against women.”—Om Prakash Chautala, former Haryana CM

To the frivolous:

“Chowmein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts.”—Jitender Chhatar, a local leader from the infamous ‘khap panchayats’

As we know, to solve a problem, you have to understand it first.

This is what I have attempted to do in Why Men Rape: An Indian Undercover Investigation. I sought to critically analyse the real reasons for gender violence, particularly in the Indian subcontinent—beyond the painfully absurd, like “chowmein”; beyond the blame of the woman and her clothes; and also beyond the staple “because they can”, “for sex” or “because, power” —as a step towards solving the problem. As a character in Netflix’s crime drama, ‘Mindhunter’ says: “How do you get ahead of crazy if you don’t know how crazy thinks?”

An edited version of this article appeared on She The People on 22.06.20.